Friday 18 January 2013

Lance Armstrong further destroys Professional Cycling's image.

Spotted in gateshead today, the public were so enraged and disgusted by past hero Lance Armstrong they formed an angry mob and took to the streets trying to burn away any and every evidence of cycling.

As Lance Armstrong admits to doping, lying and cheating over the course of an entire career in  professional cycling the entire cycling world is left recoiling in confusion and repulsion. While I was reading all Armstrong's books about winning the TDF or his battle with testicular cancer I was uplifted with the strength to do anything in the face of rediculous odds stacked agaisnt me, through his book which I presume was partly ghost written I was embodied with the inner strength needed to face challenges with only my inner self strength to fight them. Now I realise it's only possible to get ahead with a super soldier style concoction of testosterone and EPO.


He had me 90 percent believing he was innocent all this time.

Edgar Allan Poe tattoo on my arm, by Scott Taylor.

The most bitter pill to swallow is that while on the Postal Service Team the code word for doing EPO was Edgar Allan Poe, which is fairly obvious if you think about it, but I've got a massive portrait of Edgar Allan Poe tattooed on my arm so is this to mean every time I'm in my race jersey out on a casual ride or a charity ride or such, that I'm bearing the international and well recognised code word for cheater, tattooed forever on my skin.

Thanks a lot lance.

Your statement in your Oprah interview last night has branded me forever a cheat on the road, and not only a cheat but a cheater who is somehow so proud of cheating that I've gotten a tattoo to commemorate this career based on cheating.

I've never cheated on my bike ever. I don't ride competitively on my road bike and It's almost impossible to cheat at freestyle BMX, I suppose I could let a competitors tyres down seconds before their run at a jam or street comp, but it seems implausible. Does this mean I have to hand back all my prizes from the Liverpool chainring massacre, the Bone Yard Jams in Chester, All the Thornaby jams, all the Conway's jams, and all the other contests I won stuff at in the late 90s and early 00s.

Just like lance. Edgar Allan Poe

Just like lance, Hand back my prizes.

Just like lance, apologise to my sponsors-sorry Cleggy, sorry Micky Moore etc.

I suppose the danger of getting a tattoo is that the meaning can change as society bends and warps with the passage of time similar to when tribesmen the world over suddenly bore the mark of fascism when Hitler decided to use the swastika for his Nazi party in WW2.

Cheers for branding me a cheat and Fascist Lance.

I always believed Lance was innocent in a kind of 'he must be' way, imagine having the pressure of those huge black lies hanging over him all this time, Pressure form Nike, Pressure from cycling's governing bodies, pressure from the public who now idolise him. Too much pressure for any man to take, especially one who cheated and knew all along that he did so. Our society loves nothing more than a fall from grace, build them up as high as they can go and bring them crashing down publicly. The crucifixion beamed live to homes the world over, I feel sorry for you Lance You've been caught up in a difficult culture and placed on a pedestal of excellence no man should ever have attained, with doping there always needed to be a fall guy but that's best left to Lee Majors or Floyd Landis.

Disappointed by you Lance, but at the same time I feel for you, this isn't ancient Rome, why do we still have to throw people to the wolves?

1 comment:

  1. it was you that filled DMC's tires with water that time wasn't it?! shame on you Olsen