Monday, 2 July 2012

Win A Make Frame.

The Make have got a comp up to win a cat o nine tails frame, follow the details above. I still feel bad about throwing a shoe at Orlando, I hope he has forgiven me. It wasn't even my fault, everyone knows I'm prone to fits of rage and stupidity. Sometimes I think something is a really good idea and don't consider the consequences, just like when I tried to knock four pints out of Gumby's hand with a hurled can of beer and inadvertently hit some little kid in the head at Brighton Backyard Jam. The kids meat head of a dad was seriously pissed and Gumby didn't even realise I'd thrown anything.

When I chucked the shoe concerning Orlando at the buff house I was aiming for Carmine who was at the other end of our twenty foot long sitting room. Carmine had vexed me about something of which I can't remember and I picked up a shoe and wailed it full force at him, Unluckily for Orlando his face got in the way early into the shoe's speedy tragectory. There was an almighty slapping sound and Orlando was basically silent for the rest of his stay at our house, although he said it was fine I could tell it wasn't.

Orlando wasn't the only recipient of projectile based stupidity in that sitting room, previously in the year at boxing day we had all been on a bender with our christmas money, and I ended up getting a bucket of quality street dumped over my head and swam around in them believing I was in a fantasy swimming pool, I then played air guitar using a jam doughnut as the guitar and threw a VHS tape haphazardly which hit Plakka Tom in the face pretty hard. I'm an idiot, this was the first time I had met him too, double stupidity and the best way to make a bad impression.

Furthermore I was flinching carmine all the time in the Homeslice place Buff House and I had done it so much, and I had him on such an edge that once I only had to grip a packet of weetabix in another room and he recoiled in fear, this was either before or after I had flinched him with a badminton racket and the end had come off and whacked him in the face. No wonder he was scared.

I think I'm a bad man and shouldn't be allowed to touch or throw anything in the presence of others.

The only person worse for throwing stuff and causing trouble is Cookie who I saw throw a hard plastic wrestling toy across the entirety of exhibition park and clock Ros super hard in the side of the head. I also saw him throw a juggling ball point blank at a hot french bird at a party and hit her in the neck, she was not stoked.

what was the point in this post again?

Don't throw stuff, yeah its funny, but no you won't make friends.

Oh yeah and stay away from Tommy Lee when he's pelting corn cobs at a BBQ as The Count found out how hard they are when they hit you in the chin from sixty yards away.


  1. I recall a buff house party of sorts where an UNKNOWN human trebuchet who's face has parted ways with my memory, launched a light tube and it SMASHED over your SKULL...... resulting in a BLOOD BATH and leaving you resembling an early Glenn Danzig in the middle of a SAMHAIN gig.....


    1. It was HXM Stu, he messed me up good, I don't know what possessed him to break a strip light over my head.

    2. BEER...... the downfall of many a man!

  2. Haha, total recall. The memory of the juggling ball incident had long gone! I seem to remember now that it was at the house on the corner down from nezzas current gaff??

    I gained my comeuppance when a new year in sheff eccy road eggy throw incident managed to hit the back of a bald guys head from way across the street. Resulted in lips burst.

    Moral. Throwing things is fun but you will one day come a cropper and have to knock it on its head so to speak

  3. yeah i dont eat sweetcorn anymore, cob-fobia. although lettin tommys tyres down so he had a long mooch home eased the pain


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